Wrigley Confessions June 4, 2009

It’s time for me to stop breastfeeding. Really. It first hit me last Friday, when I was standing in a bathroom stall at Wrigley Field.

Instead of sitting in my seat with the other fans, taking in the Dodgers-Cubs game on a lovely spring afternoon, I was hard at work with my hand pump — the one that can fit inside a cute purse but isn’t necessarily the most efficient among breast pumps. Yes, that’s right. I was executing the nursing mother’s version of the squeeze play.

OK, so maybe it wasn’t the end of the world: I only missed the third inning and was able to listen to the radio broadcast. But it wasn’t about the baseball. It was about getting away for the first time in five months and getting some relaxing time with Joe.

INSTEAD? Every three hours, I was literally consumed with the thought of pumping: what time would I be able to pump again? where could I pump? how much more pain could I withstand before giving in and pumping? specifically, how long could one really keep other women waiting outside the two-stall bathroom at Murphy’s Bleachers in Wrigleyville while pumping? Not long, methinks (I never tried).

I never realized how UNCOMFORTABLE “the girls” would be while I was away from Noe. The longest I’d ever gone without nursing her (and relying solely on an electric pump) was for eight hours at work.

So when I returned home, we started the process of weaning. So far, ummmm, yeah… much of the same kinds of pain. Owwwww. But it’s slowly improving. We started Noe on one bottle of formula per day last week and just increased to two bottles today. She’s taken to the formula just fine, thank goodness. I’m trying to give my body time to adjust. Wish me well as the process continues!

Why were we in Chi-town? Joe’s job took him there, and he coaxed me into coming along. We then “coaxed” a combination of grandparents into watching Noe. It took ZERO arm-twisting. They all had a blast.

We were only gone for about 36 hours, but it was an eye-opening getaway for several reasons. Joe and I found ourselves being able to reconnect and speak in full sentences, uninterrupted. We even finished thoughts that had nothing to do with emptying the diaper pail, what was in the fridge for dinner, or what time Noe would be going down for a nap.

We also got to spend time with my dear friend KJ, totally spur of the moment, which did wonders for my soul. I missed her so much. And I missed being out and living it up. Yes, my former partying self still exists underneath the mommy layers.

So, during the 20-30 minutes I was standing there in the stall at Wrigley (I know the bathroom attendants thought I was doing drugs!), I made a decision. I’m ready to give up breastfeeding and move on to the next chapter: Bring on the late-night formula mixing and bottle heating. I’ve given little Noe V. five months of breastfeeding, and that’s a huge accomplishment. Some day when I explain, I know she’ll find the whole Wrigley a-ha moment quite amusing.

The Latest on Noe? There’s tons of new stuff again but I’ll keep it short. Highlights: She loves her high chair… and we may have a southpaw in our midst! She’s been showing left-handed tendencies (just like mommy!) lately, first noted by Grandpa Dave over the weekend. They say kids switch hands a lot as babies before the dominant side emerges, so stay tuned…

On to the pics!

Wearing my SF Giants colors at Wrigley: “BEAT LA!”

Joe in front of “the bean” sculpture at Millennium Park

Our self-portrait at “the bean”

Springtime in Millennium Park

With BFF KJ

Back at home, going in for the tickle “kill”

Oh-oh… Attack of the Kissing Mommy!

Seriously, teething is hard work

Helping me water the flowers today after work